A CD of off-the-wall arrangements of the Christmas classics.
...On the other hand. Gordon Green's Impossible Christmas is completely and utterly screwy. How else to describe an album that contains songs called "We Wish You A Delirious Christmas" and "The Dance of the Heavy Metal Fairies"? Using a computer to create arrangements impossible (or at least incredibly difficult) to play with conventional instruments, he spins and loops his way through "Silent Night Raga," and "Silent Night Kaleidoscope." Green messes with tempo, speeding up beyond belief Tchaikovsky's "Russian Dance,"alters song structures and totally messes with "We Three Kings," plays with time signature in the totally warped "Christmas Medley,' and even the melodies themselves are sometimes altered beyond recognition.
It's the perfect antidote for those Tony Bennett or Bing Crosby saccharin fests<!-- If you're not ready for the Charles Ives take on "The Twelve Dazes of Christmas," you'll feel your head begin to twist and warp as the Impossible music takes control. By the time you get to "Hark! The Herald Angels Swing" you're hooked, there's no turning back. You just want to lay back and hang with "Cool King Wenceslas," and start dancing to "Get Down All Ye Faithful." ...Forget about caroling this year. Take out your old 1980s boom box, put this in and walk around your neighborhood, playing it at full blast. You'll be sure to cause disturbing fun all throughout your home town.
- Clarendon Lavorich, Lollipop Magazine
-Okay, we know we're kinda unseasonal with this one, but this guy's head needs to be discussed. From his manic version of "Deck the Halls," which sounds like it might have been played by elves on speed, to his eerie dirge "Silent Night Lullaby," which, incidentally, is more gothic than anything on Projekt's gothic Xmas album, Impossible Christmas is a twisted experimental extravaganza.
Having found your average yearly Christmas music to be "predictable," Green sought to, "show the Christmas classics in a whole new light." Oh BOY, did he ever succeed at that! Every piece is a nightmare. It's absolutely fabulous. Impossible Christmas contains some of the best holiday music I've heard. Some pieces which stand out particularly well are the funky, "Get Down All Ye Faithful," "We Wish You A Delirious Christmas" (Nurse With Wound does holiday music - imagine it), "Silent Night Carousel" (I love carousel music, and this carousel was on acid), "The Dance of the Heavy Metal Faeries," "Hark the Herald Angels Swing," and "Silent Night Raga."
Perhaps what is most sick about this cd is the fact that you actually find yourself genuinely enjoying it, not just as humor, but as a valid musical experiment. The fact is, Green is right, Christmas music is predictable, and ...this fresh translation of the familiar medium is as refreshing and enjoyable as it is funny.
-Spook Winchester, AsYlem
...Computer geek Green and his magical MIDI plow through terrifically inspired versions of 22 holiday tunes (plus 8 different readings of "Silent Night"). Whether you are tired of the predictability of most Christmas music or have been waiting for someone to whip these songs into new idioms, you will find much to enjoy here. In his liner notes, Green claims the arrangements "would be impossible for a human player to negotiate," and it's true. The speed with which most of the songs are executed makes this Christmas impossible indeed.
- Jeff Drake, Pitch Weekly
Five minutes of Gordon Green's MIDI-sequenced fracturing of traditional tunes is damned annoying, 20 minutes is fairly interesting and 60 minutes is nearly brilliant. Recommended with large doses of eggnog.
- Timeout magazine